Life is too short for you to constantly worry about people and things that are toxic for you. This can be in the form of friends, relationships, habits etc and cutting them away from your life is a step forward to becoming a happier and better self.
When you get rid of stuff that do not value add or bring positivity, you make space for others that will enrich and improve your life!
Here are a few things that you should remove from your life:
1. The desire to please others
We are all guilty of this.
As social beings, we naturally crave praise and approval from those around us, which causes us to behave and act in ways that may not always be the best for ourselves.
Validating our self-worth based on the approval of others is toxic.
Removing this desire to constantly please others to seek validation will result in a more confident, stronger and happier you!
It’s definitely not an easy process, but baby steps will go a long way.
Start by being aware that you are exhibiting this behaviour and make conscious effort to put yourself before others (self-care is important!).
Once you are aware and are putting in the effort to prioritise yourself, you will start building your self-esteem and self-worth based on your own actions, and not others.
2. Bad habits
Everyone has their fair share of bad habits. They could be as simple as leaving the dirty clothes on the bathroom floor instead of the laundry basket, or it could be as damaging as going out for drinks almost every night.
These habits do not make us better people. Rather, they lead us astray and may have negative impacts on our physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.
It’s not easy to get rid of bad habits since habits are formed through time and repetition, so they’re pretty much ingrained in us.
First, you should take the time to think and reflect on what are some bad habits that you have. Think about how it has affected you and your daily life.
Next, have a plan detailing how you are going to remove these bad habits from your life. Remember that it will not always be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.
For instance, you could replace your bad habit with a good one. Start doing something else and as you form this good habit, you will find yourself partaking less in the bad habit.
3. Toxic relationships
Toxic relationships go beyond romantic relationships; they include friendships, relationships with your family members, co-workers and more.
Such relationships are draining. These people may be possessive or controlling, and they do not make you feel good or comfortable. Instead, you feel disrespected and you start questioning your own values, beliefs, self-esteem and the list goes on.
However, we often ignore red flags and continue to maintain these relationships as we do not want to lose them and are afraid of the consequences.
But that should stop. You should put your foot down, establish your boundaries and leave when you see yourself in a toxic relationship.
Being stuck in such a draining relationship will not benefit you in any way and while it might be difficult to make the decision to break the relationship and move on, it has to be done eventually.
You are your own priority and you should do what makes you feel good and cutting these people away will definitely help.
4. Comparing yourself to others
We compare ourselves to others so often that it almost seems like an unconscious behaviour at this point.
We walk down the street and we see someone and think, “I wish my body was as good as hers”, “Why am I not as good looking as him” etc. I’m sure these are familiar thoughts.
These thoughts spring into our head automatically, which then make us feel bad about ourselves as we compare ourselves to others.
This is also exacerbated with social media such as Instagram. We often see curated posts by those we follow, especially influencers and we start to compare our lives and theirs.
It’s important to realise and understand that constantly pitting ourselves against others is unhealthy. It will only bring our self-esteem and self-worth down.
Instead, we should recognize these thoughts and make a conscious effort to curb them and focus on ourselves.
Remember that everyone is unique and have their own pace, so there is no point in comparing your journey to others’.
5. Focusing on past mistakes
Whenever we make mistakes, we dwell on them and think about what we could’ve done to prevent them from happening, or what we could’ve done better.
But these are all in the past. There is no point fretting and worrying over something that has already happened.
What you do have control over is how you choose to move on from your past experiences and how you will behave in the present and future.
6. Having the habit of saying "Yes" instead of "No"
Often times, we find ourselves agreeing to people and things even though we might be busy or unavailable.
But we still say yes, instead of saying no; because we are afraid of disappointing people, fear of inciting anger and more.
When you are saying yes to something, you are actually saying no to something else.
If you said yes to helping your coworker with her project, you are saying no to other things on your priority list such as doing your laundry or having a nice dinner with your family.
Instead of constantly agreeing and saying yes to doing things that you don’t want to, you should start saying no to them, especially if they drain you.
Saying no is difficult, but it gets easier as you practice. Remember that saying no does not mean you are being unhelpful or rude. It just means that you are prioritizing yourself and your feelings first and doing what you actually want to.
It’s important to slow down, evaluate everything that is going on in your life. See what is draining you, and what is enriching you. Make the decision to cut toxic habits, people and things from your life to become a better you!
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